It's like Coraline without the button eyes.

I'm sad about couture. It's been on the decline for years, decades even, and the only person truly making it worthwhile was John Galliano. He's not at Dior anymore and now Bill Gaytten, who has worked with Galliano for 23 years, is large and in charge. 

DIOR:
 This collection was a disappointment. The same signature Galliano shapes were rehashed, but not as dramatically or proportionately. The first 19 looks were candy-like and a bit Keith Haring looking. I've decided that when people make something tacky but want to pass it off they make it look like candy so people will think it's just quirky. Exhibit A: Katy Perry.

The next 6 looks are earthy 70's feeling dresses that are not flattering. 

After that it goes to Mardi Gras streamers, and then to moons and stars. I'm just going to say that when I was 9 I had a friend with a bedroom of the same theme that looked exactly the same as those dresses. Inspiration really can come from anywhere, but this was a cliché. Slapping frills on a ballgown does not couture make, and a Napolean hat does not equal Galliano. 

Finally at the end he adds in a Pierrot reference because people eat that up.

This is a strange season. 

ARMANI:
Normally I am apathetic towards Armani Privé, but this season it was beautiful. The shapes were tall and lean, and it was Asian inspired. The color palate reminds me of the ginger, sushi, and wasabi at the japanese place I go to probably more than the waiters enjoy seeing my face. The mixtures of matte black and reflective pastels were refreshing. The hats, makeup, hair, everything was cohesive. You know I'm a sucker for that.
GAULTIER:
 Gaultier was exciting and dramatic, real couture, but it seems that people are not compelled enough by him to really do anything about it, or for him to do anything about couture. Me sitting in the corner loving him to death won't do anything either. 

GIVENCHY:
 I love Riccardo Tisci like my own child, however he has been doing the same dresses for couture for the past three seasons.
CHANEL:
So has Uncle Karl. I'm still brooding over that, so I can't really talk about it.

All the other shows look like ready-to-wear to me. Pretty, but lackluster for haute couture.

I sound like I am just complaining, but actually I am sad. I feel like the end of couture will come in my lifetime. However, maybe it's just a new couture. Alexander McQueen was doing couture-worthy pieces in his ready-to-wear, so maybe we are just moving towards a unified schedule. I'll miss the drama of a separate couture week, but perhaps this is a step towards the true democratization of fashion, in the same way as Nicola Formichetti's first Mugler collection was. Those pillars on the runway obstructed the front row's view, but made a perfect frame for people watching on computers at home. He said he wanted "people on laptops to have a better view than Anna Wintour."

Look 15, Armani Privé

I'm not doing an illustration. This is too ugly to even bother.
I'm all for 10 foot dresses with monkeys crawling on them, but this is an epic fail.
Look 4, Christian Dior

Illustration: Me